


Manifestus

by Ren_Kyun



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Hurt and comfort, I try, Kuroko-introspect, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, OOC, Suicide, Tragedies are my bread and butter, Tragedy, Why do I do this, pain pain pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 13:36:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6568384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ren_Kyun/pseuds/Ren_Kyun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ironically, Tetsuya was very good at not noticing things, but that's only if he doesn't want to. He never noticed his grandmother's protests, refusing Tetsuya's aid when she was sick. He never noticed his parents fight, then make-up, then leave. He never noticed Akashi's letter. </p><p>Now that one was too painful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Manifestus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm planning on committing suicide next week."
> 
> "Akashi-kun's jokes are as unbelievable as Aomine-kun's perfect test scores."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahah I'm back and I am also the worst kind of person.
> 
> Alert: Akashi is OOC af because to do an interesting Kuroko study, I really need (want?) Akashi to effect Kuroko in this negative way. I feel like in a lot of situations Kuroko relies on Akashi. Let's see this the other way around. Please forgive me ;v ;

The first day of Tetsuya's conundrum began when his superior had approached him and pulled him aside. The two walked slowly to the corner of the gym. The squeaks and thuds of basketballs filled in the silence.

Tetsuya didn't notice his shaking hands, the faults in his perfect demeanor, or the downcast nature of his eyes. He didn't notice - or he didn't _want_ to notice. There wasn't really a difference; the only notable one being tucked away in the dusty, forgotten observations in the back of Tetsuya's mind.

For him, it was as if he were a young child, unconsciously sealing and protecting his own innocence. _If I don't look it, it doesn't exist. If I don't notice, it never happened._

But Akashi's pristine image was stained as he glanced past Tetsuya. He was looking to the left then right before finally setting his gaze down once again. Midorima was the only one to take notice of the boys, yet he made no action to come and intervene.

"Have I done something wrong, Akashi-kun?" Tetsuya attempted start the conversation after a long moment of lull. He didn't notice Akashi's frown deepen, nor did he notice the way his arm twitch, almost as if he was going to wave the comment off. No, Tetsuya just waited, assuring himself that one flat icebreaker was enough for his captain.

It was. "No. No, you're fine, Kuroko." 'Fine' was a stretch. Despite the calm and in control tone, Tetsuya was still ungracefully drenched in sweat, hair matted to his forehead and uniform sticking uncomfortably on his chest. 'Fine' was an even larger stretch when the consideration of his performance this morning was added. It wasn't his _worst_ day. It was just far from his best day. Very far. The 'I could barely do ten push-ups when the quota was fifty' far.

"Oh?" Tetsuya replied taking in how much of a lie that was, yet choosing to leave the response for another time. Akashi had more to say.

"Yes. What I wanted to tell you... is something very personal," Akashi explained. He picked his words gingerly, as if the ones that emerged from his lips were the ripest crops during the harvest moon. "You may not be the most impressive person," ( _How rude_ , thought Tetsuya), "but your judgement is sound. And... you... are very trustworthy."

... What? Tetsuya blinked, widening his eyes slightly. An interesting topic to breach. And interesting take by his captain. Tetsuya wasn't really sure how to respond to that off compliment, so he didn't what he does best: nods and pretends he knows what's happening when he probably clearly doesn't.

Akashi clarified, "I trust you, Kuroko. I don't exactly know why, but I do." It sent chills down his spine. Tetsuya was already dealing with the shock of being called trusted. Now he had to deal with hearing his perfect superior say 'I don't know why' to him. Because Akashi _always_ knew why. He was _always_ sure of three things: the why, the how, and himself.

Tetsuya hated this Akashi. The Akashi today that lacked everything. The hubris that once engulfed his protégé classmate had all but melted within five minutes. Tetsuya wanted to leave the conversation, but all the things he didn't notice tied him down.

"I'm planning on committing suicide next week."

There was no hesitation. There was no pause. But it was still filled with the uncertainty of Today's Akashi. It was as if this was boiling in his mind and threatening to spill out, but Akashi had caught it and let it simmer down enough to control. This was his resolve, but it was extremely shaky.

Tetsuya wanted to ignore this. _If I didn't hear it, it's not going to happen_ \- only that's not true, and Akashi's claim was a big deal. A lump grew in Tetsuya's throat, but his face stayed steadfast. How? How was he going to deal with this? Why? Why did Akashi choose Tetsuya to share this burden with?

"Ak....." He swallowed and stared right into Akashi's red orbs, almost commanding their attention. "Akashi-kun's jokes are as unbelievable as Aomine-kun's perfect test scores."

This felt so _wrong_. The way Akashi was doggedly asking Tetsuya for something. Actually asking - not just demanding. And how Tetsuya had to take the role of dominate. Something that usually eluded his passive attitude, like capturing sunlight. It was truly unpleasant.

Yet, Tetsuya was firm, looking slightly up at Akashi. His words sounded insincere, and they might of been, but Tetsuya hoped that his eyes would convey more. His late grandmother always used to say, 'The eyes are the window to the soul.' Tetsuya held that saying highly, even more so now, hoping that Today's Akashi could see words better off unsaid.

The two stared at each other, though Akashi's gaze was fickle. He blinked faster and would move his vision away periodically. Tetsuya feared losing him. "My lampoon of Aomine-kun may have been inappropriate. _Akashi-kun could never stoop that low_."

Akashi may have picked his words fresh, but Tetsuya picked his flawlessly. He let the words hang. He hoped, prayed, begged to any higher being that this was the right way to go about this. Akashi was right; Tetsuya was not the most impressive person. But he was trying his best for his friend.

And Akashi acknowledged that as he let out a ghost of a smile in response. Tetsuya finally breathed out the breath he never realized he was holding.

"I see." Tetsuya allowed himself to notice Akashi's shoulders drop tension. With a steady look of content, Akashi said, "I knew coming to Tetsuya would a good idea. That was a foolish thought. I'm sorry for troubling you." Genuine, it was genuine. Tetsuya breathed in sharply as Today's Akashi was neatly folded and put away in Akashi's recovering personality.

"Yes... Well, I'm glad I could help - Did Akashi-kun just call me by my first name?" Tetsuya found himself asking. Tetsuya. _Tet-su-ya_. It rang a foreign wave off of Akashi's tongue, but it was nice. Intoxicating almost.

But Akashi's laugh was even more intoxicating. Tetsuya was hammered. "Ah, I apologize. It slipped out." His confident demeanor had, thankfully, returned. That was intoxicating as well. Perhaps Akashi was just dangerous to be around. "You don't mind do you?"

Tetsuya choose to ignore this.

"No, I suppose I don't." Another breath was strewed. "Akashi-kun is bold though."

Akashi raised an eyebrow. "Bold? I'll gratefully accept that as a compliment, though I'm not going to ignore the underlying insult that comes with that statement." He began walking back to the court. Tetsuya followed like a subordinate duckling, roles back in place.

"I meant no insult." Tetsuya shot back playfully. His eyes lingered on the players in front of him, getting closer and closer as they walked.

Midorima, who had taken notice the very moment Akashi had sneaked Tetsuya off, was now facing away, readying to shoot a three-pointer. He didn't seem the least bit concerned. Kise and Momoi were chatting with each other, most likely about Akashi and him if Tetsuya were to go by their signals. He wondered if the smiles on the their faces were more troublesome than the appeared to be. Aomine was lazing about the stands, done with practice. He, most likely, didn't even notice the pair leave the main court. Murasakibara was in a similar situation, only he was munching on chips on the bench. He definitely didn't notice the two - though, when did he ever really notice Tetsuya?

"Akashi-kun's bold behavior is something I admire." Tetsuya admitted quickly, before there was any risk of the others catching him say that. My, Akashi wasn't fair. He was like an alcohol addiction, and Tetsuya was drunk. "I admire your traits a lot."

Tetsuya didn't notice, truly this time, Akashi's pace slow. As his head was tucked down in a growing blush, Akashi lagged behind. His eyes were wide and visually surprised. Silently, he muttered to himself, "That's not fair, Tetsuya. You can't just say that..." He looked to the ground. Today's Akashi reappeared sloppily like ripples in a wave. "You should pick someone _better_ to admire."

"Ah, did you say something, Akashi-kun?" Tetsuya had stopped walking. He was few strides ahead. He didn't notice. He didn't want to notice his words, but he did notice the way Akashi reanimated, closing the gap between them quickly.

The redhead gave a passing smile. "Tetsuya's very perceptive." Akashi continued suprising Tetsuya with his responses. He expected a 'No' or 'Nothing at all.' Akashi's gait never broke again, not until the reached the court. Midorima had, of course, made his shot from the three-point line. Kise and Momoi were walking to meet up with Tetsuya and Akashi.

Before they arrived, Akashi's off-handedly whispered, "I knew I could trust Tetsuya. Or more like, I knew I had to trust Tetsuya." A worried look flashed across the shorter male's face, forcing Akashi to continue, "I'm fine."

It sounded genuine. It didn't sound like Today's Akashi. So why did Tetsuya feel the unpleasantness from before as Akashi walked on without him, greeting Kise and Momoi like nothing happened?

Was Akashi 'fine' like Tetsuya's performance during practice was 'fine'? Tetsuya truly disliked being trusted.

"Ah, hello, Kise-kun. Momoi-san." He began forward, matching Akashi's greeting. It didn't matter. He had faith that his talk with his captain had struck a cord within him. He trusted his captain, just as he trusted Tetsuya. Though, such a mutual affair wasn't always without risk.

 

* * *

 

  
It was like a divine sign. Or, more likely and hopefully, it was a coincidence. Tetsuya lounged on his bed, head against a few pillows, after he returned from school. In his hands was a very interesting novel given to him by his grandmother.

The plot was alright, though somewhat rushed. The characters were sub-par. Their names were strange and their personalities were cardboard cut-outs. The setting was okay. A high school seemed very typical, but given what was happening, it made sense. Tetsuya really enjoyed the themes it conveyed though. It made him feel sophisticated as he was able to connect with key points.

His little literary journey was cut off when he heard his cell phone ring. Annoyed, Tetsuya placed his novel down, accidentally losing his page in the process. _What page?_ He wondered as he looked at the caller I.D. It was Momoi.

"Probably around page 137..." He mumbled to himself before opening his cell and saying the even 'hello.' He was not prepared.

" _Tetsu-chan!_ " Momoi's voice was cheery and full of unbound energy. It kind of frightened Tetsuya, but he should've assumed something really incredible happened if Momoi had called him. He never noticed that she liked him, and because of this, Momoi was always hesitant to call attention to her interactions with Tetsuya. She kept her distance, hoping that she didn't appear too weird. " _Tetsu-chan, Tetsu-chan, Tetsu-chan~!_ "

"Ah, yes, Momoi-san?" Tetsuya eased into her joyful ramblings carefully and politely.

A squeal emitted from the speaker, forcing Tetsuya to recoil back. Whatever happened must've been regarded as a miracle; overjoyed was too light of a word to describe Momoi. " _I'm sorry, but this is amazing! I don't know how he did it!_ "

"Who did what? I'm very confused."

" _He didn't tell you?_ " Momoi asked. " _I thought for sure he would tell you first._ "

"No, I'm afraid not. Um, I'm still unclear on who we're talking about, Momoi-san." Tetsuya was fairly curious, but not curious enough to justify listening to this over finishing his novel. He stared at it longingly, knowing that bluntly hanging up would probably make Momoi cry. He didn't want that.

" _It's Daiki!_ " Momoi exclaimed happily. Aomine? That's a surprise. Despite the two being childhood friends, Aomine rarely was the one to make Momoi happy. Never mind this level. " _Oh, I'm so proud!!! You're never going to believe it!_ "

"What?" Tetsuya questioned. He was not prepared.

" _Daiki got a perfect score on his Japanese test!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna write more, but I didn't know how to continue on this same day. For now, have a short chapter, sorry not sorry.


End file.
